Foster Care in Texas

Ok, I have a few things I need to get off my chest.  I have been working in foster care for the last year and a half and there are a few things all current and prospective foster parents need to know that your CPA (child placing agency) isn't going to say to your face.  But seriously- you need to know these things.

1. If you are adoption motivated and you want a baby, foster care is not for you.
I mean yes it does happen, but chances are that it won't.  Just save all your pennies and get a baby from a straight adoption agency.  Foster care isn't the place to build your perfect little dream family. The kids we get have been seriously abused and neglected and they come with a healthy set of issues, even if they are straight out of the womb. And news flash:  If you do get a baby placed with you, don't count on getting to adopt it- reunification is always CPS' number one goal.

2. If you have specific preferences about how your child should look, foster care is not for you.
Let me repeat myself:  Foster care isn't the place to build your perfect little dream family. If you want a child with brown hair and blue eyes, dimples, and a button nose, then what you NEED is a reality check. While we're at it-you don't get to say "no" to having a black child placed with you. That makes you racist, and we don't want to work with racists.  I don't care if your family is racist but you aren't. You are a fucking adult. Stop hiding behind your mommy as an excuse. You're a racist asshole, and maybe you shouldn't be raising children to begin with.

3. If you recieve a placement and you don't think its a good fit, that's totally fine. Foster care probably isn't for you.
I know what you're thinking- But maybe it just isn't a good fit?  Maybe the child placed with us breaks things and hurts the other children in my home?  Maybe the child is into everything and he flooded the bathroom by running the tub?  Maybe the child acts out sexually and it makes me uncomfotable!  You know what?  I can see why you'd have an issue with all of the above; but all of the above are going to happen. Let me repeat myself:  Foster care isn't the place to build your perfect little dream family.

4. Foster care is for you if-
-You are willing to provide a stable, nuturing, caring environment for any child who needs one, regardless of the child's age, race, or gender.
-You are willing to work with the child through the issues that they are going to have, and will be bringing with them into your home.
-You are doing this for them and not you.

Luang Prabang, Laos

There are a bunch of street kids who wander around selling post cards, braclets, and the usual fare. THey are all over Laos, Cambodia, and Thailand. Some of their sales pitches are pretty good too. "I need money to go to school tomorrow." "I need money to start my own buisness." "Where you from? Texas? oh...I know...AUSTIN!" Or my favorite girl, a very dead pan, and uninterested sales pitch of..."buy something?"
This girl was maybe 9 or 10, but being asian, looked about 7 or 8, and would walk up and down the main street in Luang Prabang with a box of braclets and magnets tied around her neck. She'd walk up to everyone walking down the sidewalk, everyone eating at tables by the street, everyone shopping at the street stalls, basically any one visible and white was getting approached and every. single. time. her sales pitch was, "buy something?" Accompanied by a bored expression and a hopeful tone. SHe was usually turned down, and I got the feeling employee of the month was not a reward system put in place by the parent or grandparent she was working for. I watched her for a while attempting to sell a ring to a moderately interested back packer. The tourist girl changed her mind when she couldn't bargain the 20 cent ring down to 10 cents and walked off. The little sales girl was EXTREMELY agitated to have had her hopes built up so high just to be shot down again, but quitting is a luxury preserved for the rich, and she knew she must carry on. She approached a few more tourists with her traditional sales pitch, "buy something?" Before making her way over to me.

"buy something?"
-no thanks
"Have nice bracet, have nice post card."
-no thanks, I dont wear jewelry and I dont write letters.
(exaserbated, reproachful look accompanied by deep, forlorn sigh) "BUY. SOMETHING!"
-ok then, here's 10,000 kip, what do you want me to take?