Home James

So I've been home a month now. I feel like I have taken boredom to new heights. Almost all the things I needed to get done are finished, with the exception of notarizing and mailing some things off; but I can't do that until this holiday weekend is over. I also need to send money to many different places, but again, won't have any until the holiday weekend is over. I recall this time last year I was about to leave for asia. Memories.

I fill my time with watching pre-recorded episodes of four weddings, talk soup, and Chelsea Lately. I also have started many different craft projects that include glitter and feathers, and I go to Barnes and Knoble bookstore every day and copy down a tasty recipe from a cookbook that i wish to try and read an excerpt from the book "jitterbug perfume" by Tom Robbins. I occasionally leaf through a girly magazine, but they all say the same effing thing so they usually just bore/annoy me. "Lose weight, smokey eyes are in, and please a man with these new 75 different techniques of touching his junk." I know I need to lose weight, and I also know reading a magazine is not going to help me with the situation. I know smokey eyes are in. Put on some black eyeliner and some dark shadow and then take a nap. Your eyes will be smudged and you'll feel refreshed for a long night of good times. There are not going to be 75 new ways to touch a penis every month. Besides, I'm pretty sure just showing up and consenting is exciting enough for most men.

Some really exciting moments include the occasional trip to HEB where I buy things to unclog my pores and moisturize my hair. Sometimes I go to the beach, but not on weekends because thats when all the families are out and I don't want to be around the stupid families that think its sooooo fun and cute to feed the damn seagulls. First of all, birds are gross and evil. Second, feeding them makes them louder and more annoying than they already are. And finally, you increase the amount of bird shit that ends up on your car, and increase the likelihood that you will get shit on yourself when you feed the flying nuisances. Just saying.

Hopefully my time at home will speed along nicely. I'm pretty surprised it's already been a month that I've been back, so that's a good sign. I think having a routine and spending time visiting friends in other parts of Texas has been good for hurrying things along. I'm hoping that I'll be receiving some visitors shortly (hint hint) to keep time from screeching to a stand still.