America!

After a joyous and challenging 8 months in Australia, I decided to pack it in and fly home. There were several reasons I did this, the main ones being it was going to be a real bitch to apply for visa to the UK from Australia as a US citizen, and my schedule for the school year of 2011 doesnt give me enough time to fly home for christmas. My journey home was significantly challenging because a) Australian airports are ridiculous and B) I was carrying an extra bag that wasn't mine.

So first off I need to take a bus from Byron bay to Brisbane because the 2 dudes i know that live in brisbane can't drive me up there. In the end the incredibly kind and generous woman I've been staying with, Wilamina, offers to take me So I take the 4 hour bus ride up to brisbane, and, as My plane leaves at 8 am, and its an international flight so I have to be there at 6am, I choose to just sleep at the bus terminal on the floor. The only proboblem with this is that the bus terminal closes at 1 am and opens back up at 4 am. At 1245am a security gaurd approaches me with full intentions of kicking me out onto the street. We end up chatting because I am a girl. Turns out this guy is from Chicago and misses American girls (well I just happen to be one!) so in the end, he lets me sleep on this balcony where he can make sure i'm not being assaulted or stealing anything on the security camera. then at 4 he wakes me up and helps me carry my things inside. At this point I want to punch kadi (the girl whose bag I am taking) in the face because its so ridiculously difficult to travel with her heavy ass rolly bag and I feel like a total asshole for being "one of those backpackers" that has too much and can't bear to part with anything. I mean...the point of backpacking is to travel light and take just what you need, and take only what you can carry. SO you look like a real douche if you walk around with more bags than you have hands for. Any way, my Chicago buddy stays and flirts with me for a while (only God knows why, I looked sooo shitty after sleeping outside on a concrete balcony for 3 hours) and then goes back to guarding the bus terminal and I go to sleep until 545. Now, I am at a point in my tale where I just have to say it...This is why American boys are the smoothest and have the best game, by far, of any country I have been hit on by yet. I woke up and Evan (my Chicago buddy) has left me a note that says, "I didn't want to wake you again but I left already, call me if you pass through again, you can stay with me and not in the bus terminal. Have a good Easter!" He left his number and facebook details, and a chocolate Easter egg. I mean...it doesn't sound like much, but it was nice to wake up too, plus it was the only Easter pleasantry or candy that anyone gave me.

So anyway, I take the train to the Brisbane International airport and I go to check into my flight and the woman at the desk is like..."no, we don't have your booking, go talk to the sales desk." So I go to the sales desk and that girl also cant find my booking and is a real bitch about it.
"I'm sorry miss, that reference number isn't coming up on our system."
me-"Can I pull my email account up and show you that?"
"No, we can't do that."
me- "So I need to find a computer and printer in the airport and bring it to you? that's my only option?"
"Yes"
me- "what if I can't find one, I'm just screwed?"
"you can buy another ticket."
me-"ok, so then yes, screwed, because I only have enough money for the ONE ticket that I ALREADY bought."

I mean...the woman was just SUCH a cunt about it. She didn't seem to give 2 shits about me or my dire circumstances, and she absolutely refused to do anything helpful, like tell me where a computer was, or search the other systems to find my name.

So I find a computer, but the printer of course, doesn't work, so I write down every single number, every single flight detail I can think of ans take it over to her. She glances at it, tells me I need to go to the domestic airport and basically tells me to fuck off. Now, I took the train for $15 to the international airport because that's what my effing itinerary told me to do. So I have to pay another $5 to transfer to the domestic airport, meanwhile the rolly bag I'm carrying is starting to realllly piss me off, because its just so difficult to maneuver around, especially going up and down stares, as it weighs 23 kilos, (around 50lbs). So the bus rocks up, I spend like 15 minutes pissing everyone in line behind me off because I take so long to get the rolly bag and my duffel bag on the bus and in the baggage area. I finally get to the airport, and Im checking in, and the guy at the front desk tells me I have too much baggage and I can pay $20 extra per kilo (which would have been over $400) or i can throw some stuff away. I start crying because I dont even have phone credit to call Kadi and see what she wants me to get rid of and what she wants me to keep. I mean, sure its inconvenient but I wouldnt be happy if anyone went through my things and through half of them away...but thats what I do. It turns out Kadi has a shit ton of paper and books so that really helps and after that i just throw away stuff i've never seen her wear. A woman who has been a part of plight from the beggining of the check in process helps me out by "fudging the numbers a little" (she is by the way, shocked that I would haul an extra bag around for a friend) but she helps me out and I finally get to get rid of my heavy and inconvenient bags and get on the damn plane. So fly to Sydney, and then to Fiji. When I get to fiji I have a few hours layover. I asked a woman wearing a yellow work vest where the toilet was (the fiji airport is a big square and its pretty difficult to see the signs for some reason) and she smiled at me like she'd eaten sunshine and rainbows for breakfast and very enthusiastically pointed me in the right direction. So after about an hour I get paged on the intercom, "will Passenger Jessica Taylor please report to gate 7, you have an important message, passenger Jessica Taylor to gate 7." So I go to gate 7 and they have my passport and boarding pass (eek) and I get another extremely cheerful and enthusiastic tongue lashing from the employees with my passport. "Miss Taylor! You must keep watch on your things or can't board the plane!" this message was accompanied by a delighted grin and hand gestures. I don't know whats in the water in fiji, but I want to go back and find out.

So then I land in LA, and I take another bus over to where I fly to Dallas from and at check out there (virgin american) the woman tells me that I have to pay $50 for the 2 bags I'm checking. At this point I think so little of most transport services that the news doesnt even shock me. I warily ask her why, after flying internationally, I am not allowed to have checked luggage, and she says its the airlines deal, not hers personally, but she feels bad about it and gives me a better seat than the one I originally had. Please note the difference between this lady and the Australian bitch who was happy to make me pay $2000 extra dollars on my way home. SO I board the plane and its got purple lights and all the window shades are down. It looks like one of snoop dogs air crafts from his hit movie "Soul Plane." I land in Dallas and flights into Corpus Christi are cancelled, because Dallas has been having tornadoes and such in the area. So I go to Avis, rent a car, and drive all night. At 3 am I take a nap in an IHOP parking lot (I've never felt classier) and then continue on with my journey.

So i've been home for a week now, everything is good but I am still having trouble sleeping. I'm not sure if it's my bed, the temperature, the time change, or if my body is just super pissed at me. I sleep only fitfully, and only for 3-4 hour increments. Whatevs. I'm getting some sleeping pills tomorrow. For real.