Edinburgh/traveling with dad pt.2

So this will be a quickie, as I have 10 minutes before I have to check out of the Robert Burns Hotel in Portobello and catch a train to Stirling.

First off, Scotland is cold. It definitely feels like Texas winter. I'm pretty excited to see what an actual Scottish winter is like and if I can hack it.  Second, the city of Edinburgh is really pretty. It doesn't feel like home yet, but I think that's because I am staying in a hotel with my dad and sleeping on the floor instead of in my own room with my own stuff.

Traveling with dad this time is different. He argues with practically everything I say and there have definitely been times when I have wanted to punch him in the face.  Any attempt of mine to explain what I mean is thwarted by him interrupting me before I can finish my sentence about how my explanation is wrong as well as my opinion.  That said though, he's paying for everything so in the end I let him think he's won the argument and then convince him to order dessert. This way I win twice and he feels like he's just conceded to dessert. I'm such a clever girl.  We have been focusing on attending as many Fringe festival events as possible because when we get back, it will be over. If you don't know what the fringe festival is, google it. I can't be bothered to explain right now.

Street performers on the royal mile.

So we are heading out today for a quick tour of Scotland, and end up back in Edinburgh on the 10th, when I move into my flat. I'll update more fully then and give everyone the details of my life with the British and going from a lifetime heat and sun to a few years of clouds and cold, wet, weather.

Videos from china

Here is a collection of videos that I took in China. They are posted on fb, but I want to also make sure that I keep them documented on this blog (for when it gets famous and I make heaps of money from being a sarcastic hot mess.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbymfBSIREg   "I won't put it on facebook"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ-AnQjRbAg  "Why aren't we doing this world wide?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbYvLlOpJo8 amazing stuttering and "It's like ya'll are playing limbo by yourselves."

AMAZING!

So if anyone has the desire to plan a long vacation, or attempt to move overseas for any length of time, or even just apply to a university or job, know that if you need any guidance-any guidance at all, I would like to humbly offer my services as coordinator/planner for all your visa, emigration, and application needs.

I have extraordinary and stellar "mad skillz" if you will. I invite you to read on, so we can explore together what makes me such a top notch choice for director of applications to anything and anywhere.

My first and foremost tip for visa/job/uni applications is to leave everything to the very last minute.  Why get things done ahead of time? Preparation is for little bitches who prefer to feel "relaxed" and "calm" before a big trip or change. They can't handle the "anxiety" and "stress" that leaving everything to the last moment induces. Trust me, you do NOT want to miss out on the pure adrenaline rush of every moment being of vital importance, every move being the difference between a life of adventure in a new place or a life of sheer boredom living with your parents and their various pets. I can honestly tell you that nothing in this world makes you feel more important and in control than going to fed ex, slapping a stack of papers on the counter, and announcing, "I need to get these to New York as soon as possible!"  The magic that you feel when you sign the receipt and watch them drop that package marked "URGENT" into a bin of other packages that are marked "URGENT" is just indescribable.

My second piece of advice would be to have a credit card handy at all times. This little plastic card with it's handy little magnetic strip will be your ticket to successfully leaving everything to the last moment.   Sure you might rack up a massive debt, paying huge sums to overnight things to the east coast, or a foreign country, but that's the American way! What better time to embrace the American culture than before a big trip? When you pay extra to have a package expedited or made "priority" and your paperwork goes through the system with the lightning fast speed that all government employees are known for, the added satisfaction of paying extra in order to get things done in a timely and efficient manner really ices the cake of the experience of filling out endless paperwork.

My final piece of advice is quite possibly my most important.  It is absolutely vital that you at some point lose an important document that takes weeks to replace. The loss of a passport, birth certificate, or government issued loan statement are great examples of things to lose that are difficult to get a hold of again. The most fun thing to do when planning your future is to be totally panicked and frustrated with yourself and the government.  It's incredibly entertaining to spend hours on the internet attempting to locate an address, phone number, or email account in which you can use to get in touch with any one helpful. Did you know that some visa application centers don't have any contact information at all?!  Or that some consulates charge you $12 for a 3 minute phone call in which you received almost zero helpful information?! 

Basically I'm amazing at this. Any one who would disagree is just silly. So feel free to call, write, or text. My services are free of charge, because if you do it my way your going to be paying extra for everything any way. Enjoy!

Bucket List

I used to have a Texas State bucket list, when I graduated I had completed all 30 of the items on my check list. The only ones I can remember are climbing to the top of the tower at Aqaurena, swimming in the water at aquarena, and playing Frisbee with Frisbee Dan. Normally Frisbee Dan is a real asshole and won't play with any one who can't throw the Frisbee long distances, but when I played with him I was with a friend who has huge boobs and blonde hair and a flirty personality. So he made an exception. I've been thinking that now that I'm home for a while I should come up with a long term goals bucket list because I have nothing better to do. So here are my long term goals. I feel a little bit bad there aren't more of them.

Frisbee Dan completing one of his many amazing tricks.

1. Learn Spanish (or Italian, or French, or any foreign language.)
2. Travel South America/Europe
3. Get my Masters
4. Complete a triathlon (the running part is going to be the WORST)
5. Learn to play the cello or guitar
6. Read all of the Harry Potter books

Update

So let me just catch everyone up on what's going down right now. I leave in about a month for the UK, hopefully the new passport I just bought will arrive before my plane leaves. Actually...since I dont have a passport right now, I can't apply for my student Visa, which means this school I'm supposed to start in 2 months may not actually happen. So I'm kind of like, "wow, Jessie, grow up much?" Cause...I'm in my late mid twenties now and I should be done with misplacing valuable/sentimental objects that I need for my future well being.

All the stress of this situation is making my grey hair quadruple, so now I look like Rogue from Xmen. Correction-I did look like rogue, the new amazing color I've dyed my hair fully covers the grey streak.

Also the cute boy at my gym is back! He was gone for a week or two and I was missing doing warm up across from him and admiring his physical beauty. But now he's returned and I can go back to full on staring/drooling over a total stranger. He told me his name once but I forgot it. I know his last name starts with an E though.

Today I bought a robot necklace for $1.50 it was an unnecessary purchase but I am prone to frivolous spending when stressed.

goodnight sweet prince.

Losing my shit

There are two things about myself that I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE and no matter what I can't shake them.

1. I break things.  I don't mean, I drop a glass and it shatters, I mean I buy a camera, set it on my desk and then try to use it and it doesn't fucking work.

2. What I can't break, I lose. Exhibit a-my passport. I have lost this bitch 3 times.  I am currently trying to apply for a visa and my passport is nowhere to be found. Its sure as fuck not where I had designated to place it. So I have torn my room, bathroom, and my fathers office apart looking for it, and its just mysteriously gone.

I am so truly sick and tired of all this bullshit.

The waiting game

As many of my friends and family are aware, I am in a current, constant, state of limbo.  I am living at home while I wait for my application to the Scottish social services council to be processed and accepted.  When this happens I am totally free to go nuts buying winter clothes because then my living in Scotland will be a sure thing. Until then I am spending all my time twiddling my thumbs, and totally freaking out.  I made the decision after a friends wedding that if I HAD to stay in Texas it wouldn't be so bad because 1. I have friends here and 2. I can still leave corpus. Nothing like the hometown blues.


So I'm waiting. It's something I'm used to, so it's not so bad. Plus, all this waiting has been awesome for the new streak of grey that's decided to conveniently sprout in the front, right side of my head.  I now fully support stem cell research, because I'm pretty sure that stuff will lead to the fountain of youth.

In conclusion, I am ready to hear that I'm accepted and I'm tired of my faith and patience being tested. That said, I have some trepidations about what the future holds if I'm going to need to be more patient and faithful than this. yikes.