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Sunday, April 3, 2011

Melbourne weekend

Just a short story...

Saturday night at about 10:45 Girt, Tegan, and Myself are all collected in the hallway between Girt's bedroom and the bathroom trying to decide where to go when the front door opens and a tall figure stumbles in. We were not expecting company so Girt and Tegan make a B-line for girts room to hide, and I-like an idiot- stand my ground. The figure emerges from around the corner and reveals himself to be an incredibly drunk australian of about 27. He gives me a vacant stare and then heads for the toilet. I step in front of him, demanding to know who he is and what he wants. He looks at me and says, "Its ok, I know Mel." and tries and to push me out of the way. I push him back and then go to Girts room. The girls are both as far from the door as possible, giving each other worried looks. I walk up and say, "do you guys know a Mel?" Then Girt decides to tell me her real name is Melissa and goes to check if she knows the guy. We all approach the bathroom cautiously. He is standing over our toilet, taking the longest pee ever. He lacks the ability to stand up straight, or hold is willy with only one hand, so he is leaning over the toilet with his head resting against the wall. Girt has no idea who he is. He finishes his 15 minute long pee and then tries, with much difficulty, to get himself back into his jeans. He tries to walk further into the house, but all three of us stand our ground this time. One thing you should know while reading this, is I am the shortest one. Girt is about 6ft and Tegan is about 6'1. The guy was about my height and he smelled like deep heat muscle relaxer. I think when he had to face all three of us he realized he was in the wrong house...or decided it wouldn't be worth the trouble to try and stay. So after he leaves we can hear him banging on the door of the next door neighbor screaming for Mel. After some debate we decide to go out and try to get the guy to go away, because if he wanders around the level banging on doors and screaming for Mel, Girt might get in trouble; also he pissed all over the toilet seat and floor and we didnt want to have to touch it. We open our front door to see him passed out on the hall floor. So we painted his nails hot pink and drew a penis on his face in self tanner.

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